“Too many cooks spoil the soup.” – an old German proverb

Applying for a visa is a tricky business. Especially if you’re a freshman/woman. You try to get help, you ask around, you google stuff. You get professional and amateur advice, from scientists and diplomats to parents and friends. In the end, you have more work with deciding who is more compassionate than is more trustworthy.  And yet, you stay alone when it comes to the final decision.

My Homo sapiens s. heart tells me I should take what I can atm, which is a 3 month visitor’s visa, and RUN. Also The Boss and embassy guy agree on that. But those two have already caused some trouble. One was too confident, the other too impulsive. Won’t go into details, but they are definitely to be at least partially blamed for this absurd delay of my travels.

My H. sapiens s. brain tells me I should struggle a bit longer, get more documents, make another D tour, wait another week. Because there has not been enough shit going on so far. To get an official research visa, the one that permits me to stay down there for full 5 (pardon, 4) months.

But what’s the best option now? I could get the extra papers until the end of the week and probably fly in a week aka in the beginning of April – almost a month (yes, a MONTH) after the original departure date, and stay in SA without no further worries. Or I could fly this week, meet The Boss before he’s gone to give me a blessing over my poop experiments (more later), and start, or continue dealing with the problem of visa extension. Oh and of course, I could finally start my thesis work.

I’d <3 to go to SA asap. But what if I am deported after 3 months because don’t manage to extend the visa?

I will consider the other’s advice one last time. I’ll take the quick 90day visa, pay another few hundred euros for the triple rebooking of my flight tickets and try to be in South Africa by the end of the week. And see what happens.

Wish me luck!

I'll bloody need it.

Hellabrunn vs. Kruger

Kruger. The capital of South African Reserves, famous around the world for offering its visitors an experience of Africa’s most pristine heritage. On an area almost as big as my home country, there’s something for everyone. From fancy lodges with fresh jasmine-scented linen to bush camping in the vicinity of rough dirt roads, from private safaris to 5-day hiking trips. But above all, the vast landscapes of most beautiful and bizarre wildlife. Banana bats, giant rats, bushbabies, clawless otters, pangolins and elephant shrews, to name only a few (besides the obvious, of course).

All that could have been my everyday life, since Sunday. It hurt too much so I decided to find at least a piece of that wonderful part of the world here – in the middle of Europe. Sounds impossible, but hey, it’s like roleplaying. Pretending to be driving in a 4x4 Toyota, searching for leopards in the tall grass. With binoculars at hand and the camera with the bigger objective on, ready to shoot. Oh, and I shouldn’t forget to mention the Field guide of African Mammals lying on my lap, full of bookmarks for “I want to see that one” species.

Did it work? Well, I got close enough. I visited the local ZOO.

I had to walk, and there were red squirrels and mallards - not really two typical African species - everywhere (not to mention all the lousy people with their drooling brood). And it smelled of pommes and sweet popcorn. Still, I wouldn't call it a failure. I got glanced by a wild dog and witnessed fight for the "kill" of the two teenage lions (that lasted exactly 2 seconds and did not involve any physical interaction, just a few angry cat noises). Made some nice pics and got to try out my new bins which brought things much closer and revealed some nasty personal details, like a face wound of a snow leopard, or the bare face of a bare-faced ibis.

Wasn’t exactly Africa, but someone told me Kruger isn’t going anywhere. Who knows, maybe one day I get another invitation for a scientific meeting in South African’s largest natural reserve. Maybe. One day.

A Slovenian in need for a South African visa in Germany.

Today I visited 2 authorities that could potentially help me with my visa issue. First, the Consulate of Republic Slovenia in München. After reading through all the tourist catalogues about Bled, Terme Olimija and Postonjska jama, it was my turn to describe – with real tears in my eyes – my miserable situation and desperately ask for help. Guess what, didn’t work. Instead I was explained that they’re not responsible for such stuff; they are only there (read: in Müchen) to assist Sri-Lankans with a wish to apply for Erasmus exchange studies in Slovenia. I didn’t quite get that but also didn’t want to waste more time there so I simply left.

Next stop, South African Embassy, just around the corner. A sweet guy behind the glass seemed very compassionate towards me and made my eyes dry. Sadly, he was not in charge of these matters, merely a secretary. The real guy, the counsellor, was stone-hearted, with a mocking smile on his face and ice cold words coming out of his mouth: “I don’t know why you Slovenians think you don’t need a visa. Happens repeatedly and we can do absolutely nothing for you.” Fine. Bye.

So I started considering my options. The best one seemed to be requesting a Canadian passport (I was born in Montreal, fyi), checking in faster than the airport assistant can say “a visa” and smiling hysterically while receiving a stamp in my passport at JNB International, like the rest of the world does (except the Slovenians).

However, before radically changing my identity forever, I made a call to SA Embassy in Vienna (the responsible authority for issuing visas to Slovenians). Turned out to be my lucky day after all! The nice guy on the other side of the wire didn’t see any problem with my over-90-days stay in SA and immediately sent me all the instructions for a visa application (apparently they’re really used to Slovenians forgetting about that). Just need to prove that I’m loaded and doing a badass research project. No problemos!

Though, I might still get a Canadian passport…just in case.

The International Women's Day. Also Slovenian?

Right now, I should be one of the passengers on a flight from London to Johannesburg. I should just be abandoning my seat and greedily replacing it for the whole (empty) row so that I could spend my night in a horizontal position, with sleeping mask over my face and earplugs in both ears, getting some appreciated hours of sleep knowing my journey continues with a 6 hour drive to Kruger NP. But no. It all had to go horribly wrong before it even started.

“It says ‘visa required’. I cannot let you take this flight, you need to get a visa first.”

Those were the words of a douche at the counter, telling me I am not allowed to fly to South Africa because – as a citizen of Slovenia – am required to travel with a visa. Unfortunately, I got false info every time I was told I do not need a visa for the journey, that I just get a stamp at the Johannesburg International for 3 months, as a tourist. Yes, this holds true for almost all EU citizens, and a loooong list of other nationalities around the world. But not for Slovenians, nah-ah. We need to apply for a visa via the Embassy of South Africa in Vienna. That’s right, we don’t even have our own SA consulate, Austrians have to do that for us. For extra time, money and effort, of course.  Why Slovenia? Why is Slovenia not on that list but, for instance, St Vincent and the Grenadines are? This is not a matter of international recognition, is it? Maybe it’s another paper we haven’t signed because of our shitty financial state. Or we simply got unnoticed while that list was made, as the case usually is. Perhaps South Africans find us threatening? Do we have some horrible infectious non-curable embarrassing disease, do we carry cooties?!

Whatever the reason, I got stuck in München. Surely it will take long enough to get that miserable piece of paper, re-book the plane tickets and transit myself over Europe to the Southern Hemisphere to skip the whole first week in South Africa. The week that should represent a kick off of my project – I’d be a happy, honoured participant of a conference on savannah ecology in Kruger NP. I’d be all ears at the scientific discussions during the day and screaming of excitement while watching lions, kudus and hippos on so-called Game Drives every time the sun went down.

Now I can only fix my eyes on the abstracts of the Kruger talks at day and listen to goodnight stories when it gets dark. No lion roars, only noises of cats mating. A privilege of Slovenians only.